What Football Games Are On Today And What Channel Resolutions of Life

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Resolutions of Life

On this holiday morning, Darla was sitting in a robe and drinking a cup of tea. One of his New Year’s resolutions was to give up coffee. She loved coffee, but several of her radio colleagues convinced her that it was bad for her. They advised him to drink green tea. He took a sip of the liquid and spoke loudly as if someone was with him. “This stuff is horrible. I miss my coffee. The smell. The taste. It gives me a caffeine hit.”

New Year’s Resolutions! Who started this tradition? Probably some sick masochist. She laughed to herself. After a vacation with relatives, the last thing he needed was deprivation. He picked up his cup, poured its contents into the reservoir, and began to pour the coffee.

She thought as the smell of coffee filled the room. ‘Why should I have declarations or decisions that punish me?’ Darla grabbed a pen and paper and listed the things she wanted to happen in her life, positive things. At the top of his list was: “I want to have more fun.” As he wrote these words, a warm cocoon of love surrounded him, as if someone was hugging him. The love that he suddenly felt brought tears to his eyes.

Darla sipped her coffee with a lust that could be considered orgasmic and began to list the things she found fun. He allowed his imagination to flow. She put down things that some would consider crazy or juvenile, like wearing two colored shoes for a day and seeing how many people noticed. She smiled as she imagined what the attentive boss would say. Other items on the list were more serious, such as letting people around him in his leisure time make him feel good.

“Well, that clears it up, Jack.” He said to the coffee cup as he filled it. Jack had been her boyfriend for three years. His brow furrowed as he thought about how to end a relationship with the least amount of trauma.

As the list continued, she felt lighter and lighter. When he got dressed, he purposely wore one pink sock and one green sock. Jack had come to watch the holiday ball game. “Showtime,” she thought. He looked at the TV listings to see if the chick flick was on and tuned the TV to that channel. He hated torture and he hated college football games. Today was the first day of his new life, full of fun.

A confrontation and a remote control battle resulted in Jack yelling loudly to let her know when her PMS went away. He smiled as she closed the door behind him. This so-called PMS, or as she would re-invent it, could be a permanent affliction if she did. He picked up a notebook with a list of declarations. – What then? He said to his invisible listener.

From that day on, Darla didn’t wait until the New Year to announce her resolutions to change her life. “If it’s not fun, don’t do it or make it fun anymore,” he proclaimed daily, monthly, and annually. You can see him walking down the street or sitting in a coffee shop, sipping coffee and chanting his mantra. You know her because she has one pink sock and one green sock.

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