Who Won The Tampa Bay Football Game Last Night An Idiot’s Guide To American Football

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An Idiot’s Guide To American Football

Thanks to the wonders of satellite and cable television, outside the shores of the New World we are exposed to a selection of programs of global proportions, many of which are unwatchable, but a few catch the eye, one of which is American football. It is a very macho game for boys, unlike baseball and basketball, which are girls’ games, known in the old world as rounders and netball respectively.

So, for those of you who know little or nothing about the game, here’s a fool’s guide to help you improve:

There are two teams that help to increase the excitement and are usually named with exotic names after their hometown. So you have the Tampa Bay Rowdies, the San Francisco High Fives, the Minnesota Maulers, and more.

Each member of the team is dressed like the Incredible Hulk, draped like an overpriced sofa, and covered in helmets and mouthguards, making it difficult, if not impossible, to follow the action.

Up to fifteen players from each team are on the field of play at any given time, with fifteen more waiting to arrive on the right line. It depends on whether the team is in offensive or defensive mode [more later].

There are about three umpires, dressed as convicts and treated accordingly, with small red handkerchiefs that they throw to the ground when the whistle blows to stop play. All very colorful.

The object of the game is to reach the opponents end zone, which is somewhat curiously known as the touch zone, as there is no ‘touching’ required. But it doesn’t matter. When they do, they are awarded points.

The teams take turns with the ball and they try to get on the field using different tactics, including “first and ten”, “second and ten”, etc., etc. They have four attempts to move up the field and then they have to pass the ball to the opposing team to try their luck. This marks a wholesale replacement of team members, as the offensive pack with the ball is replaced with a defensive pack without the ball, and the other team’s defensive pack without the ball is replaced with their offensive pack that gets the ball. when it is loaded onto them by the other team’s specialist. His job is a really quiet one, as he only steps up to hit and then rushes off before the opposing team, who is now on offense, flattens him.

The most important player on any team is called the quarterback because he always seems to be running back. He also oversees the plays as they are in the huddle where tactics are agreed upon. He is then given the ball and has to do something with it or get flattened in the process. He can either throw it to a teammate, a good idea who then runs like the wind, or if completely out of ideas, he can run with the ball himself, a tactic generally not recommended on health and safety grounds.

Finally, for the red-blooded men among you, each team has its own platoon of cheerleaders, leggy, beautiful, and veritable party girls who dance and dance to cheer their team on and take the distraction away from them. violence on the field.

There you have it, tune in and with the help of this guide, you’ll be an expert in no time.

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